Namibia Group 39 PCV: Two Worlds, Two Loves with One Wall in Between

Several hours after our dreamy ballooning experience, we reached the Atlantic Ocean. I have been to this German influenced town before- running the half marathon the same day my little niece was born. We shopped a little, visited the aquarium, ate seafood and walked the beach. I was yearning to get home to Khorixas though, so we left Swakopmund a day early.

For so long I have pushed my American world in the back of my head. I live in Namibia and I cannot fully enjoy the wonders of the country if my mind is always back home. No matter how much I love my family, they have to be compartmentalized in one part of my brain otherwise I would be miserable (or so I thought). I was so excited to have “America” come to Namibia. I am still very happy that my mom is here, but it is a mess of emotions that has just crashed into my lap. She has been here a little over a week and it is starting to settle in. The walls that took me so long to build are starting to crumble down. Especially since she is now here in Khorixas, my second home. The few hours that we have spent together in my flat seems like a faded memory. She is now in the same place I have cried so many tears of homesickness. I can actually touch her, but am scared of the emotional release this will cause and my wall might completely come down. After she leaves I know I will have to rebuild this wall so I can enjoy my last months of service in this beautiful country. But I am then reminded that with every fear, you just have to jump in and cherish the moment. You never know which one will be your last, which we all know a little too well. So I will hold onto the frozen picture of Mom brushing her teeth in my hallway. In the future I may need this memory to comfort me until I get back to my Texas home. Thank you God for every moment I have on this earth.